Dinner's on me. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. Youd better be. The batroom. 4. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Check out these other why did the chicken cross the road? jokes for more laughs. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love? What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. A cherry float. A submarine. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? 45 lbs. A pouch potato. It can be frustrating, and its often a difficult comeback to come up with. You can always serve as a bad example. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Laughter is infectious. 24. There were two goldfish in a tank. Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. Explore the latest videos from . It all depends on you and the situation. How is sex like a game of bridge? If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. * No, you didn't. What's your point? Whos there? Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Now do you get it? When he thinks he's "him" but he's really just another "he" som original - . Why is history like a fruit cake? This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. If you see me smiling its because Im thinking of doing something bad. You wait here. The man. A chicken sees a salad. I dont think so. 12 / 102. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. You can drop them off anywhere. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. What do you call a guy with a small dick? I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. But that's not all. The redhead says it looks like cum. It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. The dont meet the koalafications. 200 Best Reader's Digest Jokes of All Time On February 4th, 2011, Neogaf user Kinyou [4] made a post in which they wrote that they could not get the line "I never asked for this" out of their head. What do you call a deaf gynecologist? Your parents didnt ask for you, but here we are. My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. Where do young trees go to learn? The other guy replies, "You're, What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. "Between you and me, something smells.". Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. "You look drunk.". How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Youre dead if the rubber breaks. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". You know there's no official training for trash collectors? The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" Why did the pony have to gargle? Da brie was everywhere. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Jokes with one of my friends about the communists in ww2 (Soviets) Ended up with him being somewhat offended or at the very least didn't understand the joke. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. 48. What did one pencil say to the other pencil? Find out here! Dude, your dicks hanging out. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. How do you eat a squirrel? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. . Ten-tickles. Beano Jokes Team. Here are some of the best comebacks to shut them up: Who asked? is the age-old retort of the unhelpful and uninterested. Traffic jam. But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. Alright, are you ready? You dont have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. Control Freak. A gummy bear. Well, I am 100% sure you did. Things they would quickly admit are wrong to say, or that they shouldn't have said. Privacy Policy. What is red and smells like blue paint? Because, as mentioned above, the question implies that the question asker does not care about what the person they asked it to has to say. Your job still sucks. Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. 2. I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. 32 Savage Comebacks for "Who Asked", "Did I Ask", "Nobody Asked," etc What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? "I stand corrected!" How do celebrities stay cool? These Why Jokes (with Answers!) Will Always Get a Laugh - Distractify Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. Watch this video to find out the punchline and ad. What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? 2. What's the best thing about Switzerland? A trip without kids. Anticipation is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions place to ask and answer thought-provoking.. Me a joke if you simply ask it to -- just say `` alexa tell. 3. A meltdown. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? Your mom sure seemed to care last night. If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? 100 Best Corny Jokes Ever - Ponly This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. 22. When someone asks did I ask you, you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A fun answer is to answer a completely different question to confuse the other person. I decided to start smoking only after sex. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? While theres no guaranteed way to come up with the perfect comeback at the moment, there are a few witty responses that will put the other person in their place. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? He loses. The bartender asks, "Dry?". I used to be addicted to soap. What do you call a hippie's wife? 34. Ill go on a head. Re-Morse code. When you die, what part of the body dies last? The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news.". Its a way of shutting down a conversation, of refusing to engage with new ideas. I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Your Mom. Would you like to dance? Who asked? - Copypasta "Close the door, I'm dressing!". Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? Getting down and dirty with your hoes. The third guy ducks. Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? Explanation: Wait, did our copy editor fall into some cosmic wormhole? What did one hat say to the other? If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. Answer: Audi Question : What is the quickest way to speed . Urban Dictionary: When did I ask? Because 7-8-9. What do you call it when Batman skips church? What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? 10 Best Funny Riddles. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. They left a sweet note on my windshield that said "parking fine.". To. What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? Continue with Recommended Cookies, It has happened to all of us. When did I ask? This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. 23. 9. They both have an ability to misfire. What did the leper say to the prostitute? Watch me pretend to care. Why do vegetarians give good head? A dick in your mouth! "I'm a. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. You won't stop laughing at these 10 jokes! | Articles | CBC Kids What did the left eye say to the right eye? Funny responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like at a party or during a conversation with friends. The infantry. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker Here are some witty comebacks to Did I ask?: The best response to did I ask is to remain calm and try not to overreact. I think its time for us to go our separate ways and start making other people miserable. How is life like a penis? 50 Funny Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids and Adults - Parade One looks at the other and says, You know how to drive this thing?!. They are similar to the phrase "shut up"and may be considered rude to use. If a woman talks dirty to a man, thatll be $6.50 a minute. Privacy Policy. Well, they're not laughing now! Why don't math majors throw house parties? Micro-waves. Fuck you said who? No, the punchline comes before the setup when time travel is involved. For more information, please see our I said you look fat in those pants. She choked. An impasta. By following these tips, youll be able to handle the who asked question like a pro and keep the conversation going despite it. Because they use a honeycomb. Whos there? Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. You planet. So they don't peel. Country Living editors select each product featured. A limbo champ walks into a bar. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Spit, swallow, gargle. 10. You mustve misheard me. 40. Fssh. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. Good Comebacks for Unwanted Opinions (Our Favorites) In fact, it could make things worse by escalating the situation and giving the troll more attention. It was two tired. Its the people I tell them to who cant. 22 of the Best Comebacks for "Your Mom!" in 2023 If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. Because they hit foul balls. Why are teddy bears never hungry? What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. The batroom. Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? 3. I'm a helicopter! Every 'Who asked' copypasta. Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . Spoiled milk. Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. Jokes for Kids: 130+ of the Best Kid Jokes on the Web - EverythingMom I stood at the front, cleared my throat, choked back the tears, and said, "Plethora." Share the best GIFs now >>> "Whaddya mean?" What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror? Explanation: Bach was, of course, another famous composer, so Beethovens chickens were pecking away at his ego. Please stay on the line until you hear the beep forvoicemail. Halfway. It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. Original don't care + didn't ask. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Knock knock. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. You cared enough to dismiss it; that counts. The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. Discover did i ask jokes 's popular videos | TikTok No, but you need all the help you can get. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Cereal. Remains to be seen. You might enjoy: 24+ Clean Comebacks for Get a Life. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. 126 Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb They're Actually Funny - BuzzFeed Because they're really good at it. A nervous wreck. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. How does an octopus go into battle? An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Are you an adult? The 55 funniest things to ask Alexa CNET - CNET I Never Asked for This | Know Your Meme Criminally Funny Lawyer Jokes. Pun lovers have been pondering what one thing said to another since almost the beginning of time. Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou? I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. Do you love hearing jokes? What's Forrest Gump's email password? Exaggerations have become an epidemic. A buccaneer. Because he was always spotted. Here are 45 of his best (and cringe-inducing) jokes from previous shows and appearances, and The Office: Warning: adult humour follows "Where there's a will - there's a relative!" Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! Beano Jokes Team. The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird. Wait. Even thoughts can raise them. So why wouldn't we embrace any chance we have to giggle at a joke? Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your faceonce you shove them down the stairs, that is. What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? Because they're boy-ant. Have fun with some of these. A chipmunk. What do you call a pudgy psychic? 12. A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. Whats the difference between attraction, love and showing off? Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? With a mon-key. Elementree school. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Never mind, it's over your head. That's why we've rounded up that set of (clean) jokes for adults and kids alike that will have the whole family laughing. Her navel. This obviously isnt working out. Watch popular content from the following creators: jordan(@jjnthatsspam), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), jamal(@jamallxoxo) . Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". When did I ask: what is it? What does it mean? - Definder 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. You look drunk. 8. What did the little tree say to the big tree? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. And do you love, well, jokes? 3. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); said the man in the orthopedic shoes. Explanation: No joke has a double meaning here. You can negotiate with a terrorist. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { The sheer awkwardness of the situation should set in eventually and the person will walk away. What do you call a pig that does karate? What's E.T. A funny response can be to pretend to not understand the question. The Best Dad Jokes 2023. A Mississippi. Knock-Knock Jokes. A maybe. 1. Why is Peter Pan always flying? Whether youre looking to shut down someone in an argument or want some witty responses up your sleeve, these comebacks will do the trick. Usually, they know they didnt. 86 Funny Why Did The. You planet. Just-in. Why don't chickens play baseball? What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. What did one plate say to the other plate? What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? Airplane Jokes for Kids. I decided to compile a list of comebacks for who asked, did I ask, and nobody asked or cares because its getting ridiculous out there. What do you call a zen master in charge of snacks? 14. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? So read on for some of the funniest two-line jokes and quick quips around, and don't forget to pass them on to your equally immature friends. Answer: A Diamond Question: What did the cowboy say went he went into the car showroom in Germany? 39. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. A cheese factory exploded in France. What do a guy and a car have in common? What did one hat say to the other? By the CBC Kids team August 15, 2017 | Last Updated April 08, 2022. How does a squid go into battle? What did the banana say to the vibrator? Virgin Mobile, Boy: Want to hear a joke about my dick? Khanada Lakes on Twitter: "WhoCares WhenDid I ask WhyAre you While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. They're his watch dogs. 7. What are the alternatives for "I was going to ask you"? I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. Knock Knock Whos there? Hey! He gave her a diamond card. How do you organize a space party? Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . Not by a long shot. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Dont worry, said the doc. These classic What did? A Maybe. A pork chop. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? He wanted his quarter back. Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. Why do geese fly south in the winter? What did one wall say to the other? What does a pig put on dry skin? 100+ best jokes to share with coworkers | Culture Amp Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? Its a win-win! She couldn't control her pupils. A slipper. They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. The box a penis comes in. Explanation: The first two errors? Learn about the best baby names out of Japan. Did you hear about the depressed plumber? 25. Because their horns don't work! Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? He's all right now. This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. Your responsibility is to assess the situation and determine the best course of action. Youre probably dumb. His wife asked me if I could say a quick word. What do boobs and toys have in common? I have as much authority as the Pope. Sucka. Theyre used to eating nuts. A guy will search for a golf ball. Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? How did the hipster burn his mouth? Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. 50 Short Jokes And Puns That Will Get You A Laugh Every Time It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? Why did the chicken cross the road? He just can't part with it. An impasta. Beef strokin off. A clever response shows that you are quick on your feet can be really smart. They dont actually want to know if they asked you. A happy uncle. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place.
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